Act 1 ” Dogs of War “
Three teenage girls, who are on the way to beat up a cheating boyfriend, a high-jacked 1968 car, Nuns driving a van that gets a flat tire, a dad fashioned after wrestler Hulk Hogan, a James Bondish rogue, and a blond vixen named Laci, who isn’t afraid to flash her flesh, along with her pistol! Oh and did I mention that this is all done in black & white?
This is Image comics’s new series The Ride Die Valkyrie .
And a wild ride this comic is. The book opens in the city of Atlanta, Georgia with the three girls, Becca, Cleo, and Ting, who form their own girls only gang, based on the mythic norse lore of the Valkyries.
These girls are punks with attitude, especially Becca.
Cleo ” Becca, are you sure about this?”
Becca ” Cleo, please. ” ” We’re Valkyries. Valkyries don’t drive a Mercedes to whip somebody’s ass. ”
Cleo ” What about your Dad? ”
Becca ” My Dad needs a wake-up call. ”
Mind you, that becca’s dad, is the aforementioned Hulk Hogan lookalike, and I really kinda expected him to be a more ” kick ass, and take names later kind of persona “, which would have been a better explanation for becca’s general attitude and demeanor.
The Ride, is Becca’s Dad’s 1968 RS/SS. Rat V8, with 375 horses.
The girls boost dad’s car, and are heading to Atlanta to kick the hell out of Cleo’s cheating boyfriend. The problem is that the Ride doesn’t belong to dad at all, but to the Bondish villain, who has no problem shooting dad in the head when he finds his ride is gone! He also has no problem shooting dad while holding a cell phone and taking ( what I assume is video) of the deed for Becca to see.
Meanwhile, in Mobile, Alabama, we see a Van, off the side of a major highway, its flat tire being changed by someone. The van belong to some Nuns.
Enter two Alabama, Backwoods, Beer guzzling, Pickup Truck driving Rednecks, who happen upon the Nuns, and their predicament. And, no, they didn’t exactly pull over to be good Samaritans and lend the Nuns a hand. Focus, on the guy ( you assume, again ) changing the flat. Well, he turns out to be a a young female named Laci.
The rednecks want something from the nuns, and it’s not a blessing, Laci comes to the nun’s aid, in a rather unconventional manner.
Walking over to said rednecks, Laci opens her work overalls, pulling down a zipper in the front, to reveal her young body, along with her Pistol!
Laci ” Tires fixed. ”
Nun ” There are better ways to deal with those type of men Laci. ”
Laci ” Those were bad men Rita. ” “ And I don’t know another way. ”
A few pages later, in another scene between the Nun Rita and Laci…
Rita ” Do you have any idea what motivates men like that? ”
Laci ” Tits and Death. ”
Well said Laci.
This series is a collaboration between writer Doug Wagner and artist Brian Stelfreeze, who I think are going to be bringing to us a very entertaining read indeed, in the future two issues of the series.
I just want to point out that this is not a series I would recommend to a young girl or boy to read, or even to an adolescent boy or girl , due to the commentary that I feel the series makes about the changing face of youth in today’s generation.
A face, that when I was a youth, was just non-existent.
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